Last week I wrote about the pain of stepping off the treadmill, the difficulty of undoing our programmed tracks to work work work. Well I am still spinning in my money worries. I’m still trying to undo the programmed tracks of money-time-status as I live my theory that if you follow your passions and face your fears, everything that you need will follow. Now I have to admit that what I want to follow is financial security, but a month into this journey and I am realizing that what will actually follow is a miracle beyond my imagination.
Last week I experienced a taste of that very miracle. I was walking through my kitchen and I saw a beetle on the floor. Now I have been told that most people would immediately squash the bug, but I stopped to look at it. (I have long since been practicing gently removing bugs from my house and setting them free outside because I believe we are all connected and it’s not the bug’s fault that I don’t like it in my house☺). Since I am practicing slowing down, I had time to admire it. It was quite beautiful and had a lovely circular centre that had a smiley face like design on it.
I gently picked the beetle up in a tissue and brought it outside. Ordinarily I would have flicked it and sent it on its way, having to get back to whatever I believed I had to do. Instead I opened the tissue carefully. The beetle gifted me with its presence and stayed on the tissue, so I continued to admire it, feel the sun on my face, drift into the feel of the moment…when I saw something move on the beetle! And there it was again! And again!
At first I thought it was a baby spider because what I saw was super small and baby spiders were the smallest creatures I’ve ever seen. I thought that until I saw another tiny creature, and another, come out from under the circular disc of the beetle and I watched four little baby beetles line up perfectly like little ducklings on the beetle’s wing. Then they were on the move again and two more translucent babies came out and they lined up, three on each wing. It was truly incredible and magical to see.
Once they were all in their positions on the beetle’s wings, the beetle had a big poop (she was sitting on a white tissue so it was hard to miss the sudden presence of the green liquid pool☺) and she flew away with six babies on her wings.
And I cried. For the first time in my life I can honestly say I felt what it is to be in the “Now” that Echart Tolle describes in his book The Power of Now. I knew intellectually that the “Now” existed and I had been practicing trying to feel it by meditating and trying to slow and appreciate moments. But when I witnessed the miracle births of beetle babies, I felt that elusive feeling that many spiritual teachers describe. I felt connected.
I felt connected because I am slowing. I am walking away from the insanity of work and money, from the insanity that keeps us so busy that we truly can’t stop and smell the roses. If I had been most people, I would have squashed and killed 7 lives. If I had been my slower version of most, I would have flicked the beetle away and missed the miracle. Leaving me to realize how much I have missed in life thus far. Making me grateful for how much I will experience in life now.
p.s. – thank you Jessica for the title☺
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